It’s a long story.
For numerous reasons, I really hate my legal name. So in order to not suffer as much at least when it’s possible, I’ve tried many alternatives. Here are the ones that have actually seen the light of day:
William “billy” Lupshenko
2015 to 2018
(Briefly also RestMOnR as the online username, and I have no fucking clue what that even meant.)
This was my first attempt at making something actually name-like. Needless to say, I failed. The western-sounding first name clashes with a slavic-sounding last name. Also it sounds completely ludicrous. But for some reason, I thought that it was not only acceptable but also as good as to make it my legal name. Luckily, it didn’t become one. For obvious reasons.
Meanwhile, the following pseudonyms were used for art and throwaway purposes:
- モバイル技術電子計算機ＳＰＥＲＭ ＭＡＣＨＩＮＥ ＢＵＮＤＬＥ - reference to the initials of Super Mario Bros + nonsense in Japanese
- John Air - the most generic sounding name possible
Kirby Kevinson
2018 to 2022
(Briefly also 0x46d59b71 as the online username.)
As you can probably tell, this had been my name for quite a while. While coming up with it, I had the following requirements:
- It had to sound western.
- It had to be gender-neutral.
- It had to be reasonable.
- It had to be short.
- It had to be as unique as possible.
- It had to have no diminutive forms.
Here’s how you say Kirby in different languages:
- Japanese: カービー
- Russian: Кёрби
- Toki Pona: jan Kowipi
For technical reasons, the following substitutes were used on some online platforms:
- Yuri Antonov - reference to an inside joke
- Kristina Korovkina - same initials
Ruby Klover
Since 2022
(Also Warning: Non-Potable Water as the online username.)
As it eventully turned out, Kirby Kevinson was not as good of a name as expected due to frequently failing its own requirements:
- It did sound western, but it was also just a tiny bit too funky.
- It was gender-neutral but not enough for literally everyone.
- It wasn’t the most reasonable name I could’ve come up with.
- It was too unique to the point of absurdity.
- People somehow managed to find ways to shorten it.
I had to go through quite a few hoops to come up with a better one, including writing a Python script and analyzing thousands of names, which by the way, only helped with the last name. Picking the first name using this method was still a challenge, so I ended up stealing it from a song by Donald Fagen instead. In the end, I feel like this name is perfect. Hearing someone refer to me finally makes me happy.